Public Speaking: How To Overcome Your Fears

Classroom - Public Speaking

Why Is Public Speaking One Of The Greatest Fears

You step to the front of the room, as the looming sound of many discussions quiets to a piercing silence.  You look down at your notes for a second, and when you look up, everyone has their eyes on you. Beginning to speak, you can’t quite tell if your voice is loud enough, or if your words are coming out intelligibly or not. You panic, and start to sweat. losing your place, you frantically look to your slides to get some sense of where you are in your presentation.

If you had to do some form of public speaking, and what I described sounds a little like your experience, you are not alone. The majority of the world feels terror at the thought of speaking in front of a group of people. If it’s as serious as a phobia, it would be described as Glossophobia.

Innately, humans put a lot of value in how we are perceived by others. There is also the intimidating aspects of being overwhelmed, not knowing the answers to questions, being judged harshly, or forgetting your lines; which result in the dreaded emotions of embarrassment and shame. Public speaking doesn’t have to be like this. There is hope, and you might be surprised at how easy it can be to turn your perspective around, and speak with ease.

When I was in the Marine Corps, my specific job entailed giving weekly presentations, for the duration of the four years I served. I had to give presentations in front of many troops, and/or high ranking officers, who were all hanging on my every word. At first it was the most intense and stressful period of my life, but I learned how to alleviate my dread and anxiety, and give a presentation with ease.

After the military, I took public speaking classes in college, and discovered a few key differences in presentation style, which I’ll get into later. Rest assured, I will tell you everything I know that works. Now lets talk about how you can help yourself be more comfortable with the dreaded activity of public speaking.

Ways to Ease Your Anxieties, And Speak With Confidence

1.  Practice, Practice, and Practice some more.

This is probably the most important piece of advice I can give, and I put it at the top of the list so you can internalize it first. When you have a commanding knowledge of what you are going to talk about, everything you say will ring with an aire of confidence.

Continue reading “Public Speaking: How To Overcome Your Fears”

10 Effective Ways To Stop Obsessing And Ruminating

boy looking out window

Have you ever been wronged by someone, seemingly without rhyme or reason? Perhaps the outcome of a situation did not turn out as expected. Perhaps your daily life is filled with stressful situations, causing you to feel continuous anxiety. Depending upon your disposition, these events can cause you to obsess and ruminate.

I have had my fair share of personal issues in the past, which I had to work through. Along the way, I picked up many effective lessons on how to handle ruminating. Before we get to the list, lets look at some facts about ruminating.

Facts About Ruminating

Reasons Why We Ruminate

  • A feeling of low self-worth: You may find yourself at fault, or inadequate in various ways, as explanation for why certain events have unfolded in your life.
  • Depression or Anxiety: A negative mindset, from event after event, trains the brain into a trend, or belief system, centered around hopelessness. Ones attitude and perspective has much to do with alleviating these causes. However, some people develop neurological disorders, which can only begin to be addressed by psychopharmacology. If you believe your obsessive, ruminating behavior to be serious and possibly linked to mental illness, I urge you to please consult with a qualified therapist.
  • Being consumed by what other people think: This cause is slightly rooted in a sense of low self-worth. The ego is a hungry beast, and requires validation to assert itself. Even if you believe you do not have a big ego, heavy ruminating would suggest otherwise. This is your ego screaming itself back into power and control.
  • Personal development: Sad to say, but some of the reason people have difficulty processing a negative event is due to maturity. The lessons people learn in the course of their lives vary greatly, and as a result, so does their maturity level. This aspect directly ties into how we evaluate our own self-worth, which interacts with being consumed by what we think people are thinking about us. If this starts at an early age, it can prove quite difficult to change such an old pattern, but it is possible.

For more on why we ruminate, check out this other article.

Types of Ruminating

In my research, I found these types of ruminating to be a pretty good idea of how this issue surrounds our psyche.

  • State Rumination: Thinking about the consequences and associating ones self with the failure.
  • Action Rumination: This is mainly to do with continuously pondering how events could have been corrected to achieve a goal. 
  • Task-irrelevant Rumination: Has to do with blame to distract from the failure; choosing to focus on the event or a certain person as the cause.

Ways To Stop Ruminating

Now that we have discussed the reasons why, and what we ruminate about, let’s discuss how to fix ourselves. Keep in mind, where all of these can help alleviate obsessing over something temporarily, it is through continuous practice and effort, which can bring about a more permanent change. We must learn to water the wholesome and productive seeds within us, and allow the negatives seeds to regress, for change to be possible and to take hold within.

1. Take your mind off of the person and/or event.

Redirecting your mind to something else, is an excellent way to train your mind away from the cycle of ruminating. If you know how to meditate, this is also a Continue reading “10 Effective Ways To Stop Obsessing And Ruminating”